Als de indianen een wat strenger immigratiebeleid hadden gevoerd, dan was het nu niet zo’n puinhoop geweest in Amerika.
Kees van Kooten & Wim de Bie
Had the Indians maintained a stricter immigration policy, then America wouldn’t be in such a mess today.
Kees van Kooten & Wim de Bie
A guy walks into a bar and notices that the music is live, and it is being produced by a very small piano player - about 12 inches high! He orders a drink and asks the bartender where he go the musician from. “Oh,” says the bartender, “I’ve got a magical beer bottle. When you rub it, a genie comes out and grants you one wish.” “I don’t believe that,” replies the visitor. The bartender gives him a seemingly empty bottle. “Here - give it a try.” The man rubs the bottle and out pops a genie. “I will grant you one wish,” he says. “Let’s see,” says the guy, “I wish for a thousand bucks!” “You shall have them,” booms the genie and he disappears. All of a sudden, the bar is full of ducks. They are on the tables, on the counter, on the floor - everywhere! The bartender takes the bottle back and says: “Do you believe me now?” “Why?” says the guy, “I never wished for a thousand ducks!” “Sure,” replies the bartender, “do you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?”
(“his brain” zal het wel niet geweest zijn…)
Radio news reader 1: “What do our listeners’ think about this issue? Do you have any thoughts? What are those thoughts? Will you tell us them? Any thoughts at all will do. If you have ‘m, we want to hear them!”
Radio news reader 2: “Are you personally affected by this issue? Then e-mail us! Or if you’re not affected by this issue, can you imagine what it would be like if you were? Or if you are affected by it but don’t want to talk about it, can you imagine what it would be like… not being affected by it? Why not e-mail us and tell us?”
Radio news reader 1: “Yes, why not? What possible reason could there be for you not to e-mail us? Certainly ignorance shouldn’t be a bar! You may not know anything about the issue but I bet you reckon something! So why not tell us what you reckon? Let us enjoy the full majesty of your uninformed ad hoc reckon, by going to bbc.co.uk/radiofour, clicking on ‘what I reckon’, and then simply beating on the keyboard with your fists or hand.”
(That Mitchell and Webb Sound, series 3 – BBC Radio 4)
David Mitchell: Guys! We HAVE to know if there is a God or not, this is important!
Olivia Colman: Well… there IS no yes-or-no answer.
David Mitchell: What!? I can think of TWO yes-or-no answers just off the top of my head!`
That Mitchell and Webb Sound, “Big Talk”
Frodo: Oh, wise Gandalf, where will my quest take me?
Gandalf: Young Frodo, you must travel across the Misty Mountains, through the perilous forests of Fangorn, until at last you will set sight on Ithilien.
Frodo: And when I get there, shall I find the One ring? Shall I bring it back to you?
Gandalf: No, just get 20 Silk Cut and a box of matches. But don’t tell Bilbo, he thinks I’ve quit.
